GP Prayer

The Prayer of the GP Teacher

Please God let them use their heads
And pick the essay that suits them best.
Please make them remember all I’ve said
About key words and all the rest,
So they don’t from the question stray,
And throw those precious marks away.
Let their subjects with the verbs agree
And let their paragraphs link.
But above all God I send up this plea
That you teach them how to think,
So tenses come out as they should,
Not would for will and will for would.
Lead them not into the pronoun trap
Man they, men he and one and his.
Otherwise they’ll take the rap
For disagreement such as this.
Please make their writing nice and neat
And the sentences must be complete.
Protect them from poor punctuation
And deliver them from doubt.
Help them to find points and illustration
And to work things out.
Remind them Lord to watch the clock
And save them please from writer’s block.
Compre needs divine intervention
Bless them with sense and comprehension
Give them treatment preferential
With those questions inferential.
Please make it just ONE summary
And let them know all the vocabulary.
AMEN.

By Elspeth Smith.